


Friends Will Be Friends

by Suchsmallhands



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Pining, Pranks, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-18 16:25:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21930346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suchsmallhands/pseuds/Suchsmallhands
Summary: James is to be married soon and needs help inviting his guests, so he must recruit his best man and his best man's best man, of course.He wondered if McGonagall would think that he’d come up with this idea. Surely not, he thought. This wreaked of James Potter. He shook his head slightly at his own thoughts with a discerning frown. No. She’d be sharing a theoretical look with Remus, in spirit. His work was much more subtle.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37





	Friends Will Be Friends

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently read _Frankenstein_. I had a lot of negative resonance with the themes of isolation and disconnection from others. I needed to express this sense of being disconnected. I could think of no character to better channel the vibe of Frankenstein than Remus and I tried to use him to make something off my reading of Frankenstein and off my own crushing sense of being far away from everyone I know. Now of course, this unfortunately feeds into the HORRIBLY overplayed (and understandably so because it is horrific) dynamic of Remus Dealing With Lycanthropic Onset Depression. I fail to avoid this dynamic OFTEN. I think it's fair though, considering it must be a fucking nightmare being a lycanthrope when you're not pushing it so far down in your mind that it's not a problem. I'd be losing my head if I had to break even one bone every month. For all those talented authors in the wolfstar fandom who give Remus the well rounded development he deserves, keep the faith and carry on with many kisses from me. Anyway... what the fuck is wrong with me. Have fun.  
> *Title is Friends Will be Friends by Queen, a very enjoyable tune.

“Remus.” Sirius barked only a bit gently.

“Hm,” Remus blurted and blinked open his eyes, waking. He lifted his head off his desk and gave Sirius a bleary few blinks. Sirius was gazing down on him, arms crossed loosely. He had a patient look on his face, brows raised a bit. Remus lifted a hand to his face to peel off the piece of paper stuck to his face. He looked at his desk, here in his room at the Lupin’s. He had his hand on the open pages of _Frankenstein_ , where it had been since he’d fallen asleep. He hummed and closed the book with awkward still sleeping hands, looking at the paper still in his hand. Another rejection letter. It’s that pesky, _Are you a legally recognized Dark Creature, YES/NO._ Get’s him every time.

He slapped it down on his desk as if Sirius didn’t already know what it was, running a hand through his hair and rubbing his face as he shuffled the page underneath some others.

“That bad, huh?” Sirius said, with a tilt of his head.

“What’s that?” Remus grumbled, voice especially gravelly after sleep. He would have come up with an even more deflective thing to say if he’d only been given a moment to wake.

“You’re reading _Frankenstein_ ,” he said with a pleasant expression. Remus gave the faintest roll of his eyes and hummed.

“What’s that supposed to mean.” He started to organize his desk which was quite a mess, just to have something to do instead of talk to Sirius. He frowned. “How do you know anything about _Frankenstein_?”

Sirius gave a smile as he very much liked to exceed expectations. “We covered it in Muggle Studies, seventh year. Not the whole thing but I got a bit wrapped up in it and read most of it.”

Remus gave him an unimpressed glance. Sirius turned and swung his arms as he plopped down on the bed and leaned back on his elbow as he inspected the new tattoo he’d got on his wrist (an M and two P’s). Remus had thought that tattoo was excluding to Peter but it turns out it hadn’t mattered much. Peter had gotten a new girlfriend and her friends after they’d graduated and they hadn’t seen him in about half a year. He put a hand on the back of the chair and stood up slowly. His knees and elbows both popped and even his hip popped. He didn’t make a face because he could see in his periphery that Sirius had looked up at him without lifting his head, an open and observant look on his face. He wanted to grit his teeth but all he could do was feel inwardly frustrated that his body moved like a man in his god damned early sixties. He was nineteen.

He didn’t need to look at the moon to know exactly what it was, about five nights from full, nor at Sirius’ obnoxious moon tattoo that reflected the phase.

He didn’t acknowledge the sound and thanked God that Sirius had his head about him enough to just look down at his tattoo quietly. He went about getting his socks and shoes on, getting a coat on and changing into jeans. Sirius had a terrible time of sitting still, it was like it was mentally painful for him, so he was sending little light enchantments to glow on the ceiling in scientifically accurate constellation patterns.

Remus was dressed so he entered the hallway and started down the stairs, Sirius at his back, to the kitchen. Sirius was quiet in the dark house, so they wouldn’t wake Hope or Lyall. Which is good. Remus wouldn’t want to ruffle feathers when he was just starting to be on speaking terms with Lyall. It was a long childhood of distant near absent fathering. Hope was his saving grace in the parenting department. Lyall was eternally guilty and averse to his lycanthropy in general. In the early years, parenting a young child through the monthly transformations is near impossible for most parents. They’d always taken him to the ministry to transform until he was about ten years old. Before that, Hope felt that doing the act of locking a resistant child in a basement was really not good for their relationship. Once he was old enough to understand, he’d started doing it at home. But before then, Hope had always picked him up and cared for his wounds with expertise, alone.

These days he and his father were talking more.

Sirius had always been good at keeping quiet in the night. Remus knew it was from childhood practice.

He made tea and they stepped outside to loiter at the backdoor. Sirius took the time to smoke a cigarette. He did that too, as if to fill every moment of painful stillness.

“Did you know,” Sirius said, pausing to exhale smoke, “Alphard has left me an inheritance.”

Remus paused in a sip. “An inheritance?”

“Yes.” Sirius nodded once, still swaying absently on his feet.

“What does that mean, exactly?” Remus asked, sipping. Sirius blinked with disbelief at the darkness and shook his head in surprise.

“A Black inheritance typically means money.” Sirius tipped his head as he spoke.

“A lot of money?” Remus asked impatiently.

“Yes,” Sirius replied as if obvious, “Billions.”

Remus shut his eyes and had to take a pause from breathing as well. He blinked them open to stare at him. Sirius returned his stare calmly. Quite obviously accustomed to the idea and unfazed.

“Where in the world… did the Blacks get money like that, again?” Remus asked.

“Old money.” Sirius rolled his eyes flippantly and shrugged, “And capital. It’s all about capital.”

“Jesus Christ,” Remus breathed, looking off into the night. Sirius’ lips quirked and he took another drag, one hand in the pocket of his leather jacket. Remus blurted out, “Your mother…”

“Beside herself,” Sirius hummed, “They did their best with all means dark and underhanded to stop it, but Alphard had anticipated it and it was impossible.”

“What are you going to do?” Remus asked.

“Work!” Sirius frowned, “I don’t want to live off it. Although, the excommunication from money is difficult. It’s a whole different world, the life I grew up in, I mean. I don’t want to go back. But it’s not perfectly easy, I mean, being cut off from everything. Look at Princess Margaret. She could have gone off to marry that… Town fellow. It’s been all over the news. The church won’t let her marry him for this or that. Well, she could do it if she cut ties with the royal family. But she won’t. It’s difficult, leaving that world. She’s never worked a day in her life, neither has any of her friends or family. She’s never taken the bus.”

Remus hummed and frowned at this.

“Well, you’ve got us.” Remus said quietly, “We won’t let you get too swotty.”

Sirius beamed at him. “I’ll swot you.” He smacked him on the hip and squeezed his flank roughly as he squirmed away smiling.

“Remus,” Sirius said a moment later, and he knew right off the bat that he didn’t want to hear it. “I think you need to ask for Dumbledore to help. I know you don’t want to but-”

“Stop.” Remus said, turning around and ducking into the house to pour out his tea in the kitchen sink with Sirius behind him wearing his dark and serious glare. He wanted to tell him to fuck off. He wanted to avoid this conversation completely. But he knew that if he did it that Sirius would absolutely not let it go whether they spoke about it or not and it would cause animosity and in the end he’d pay for it anyways.

“I’m going to apply for muggle records and go to university.” He said. Sirius’ expression opened at once and his shoulders relaxed.

“University?” Remus leaned his hip on the kitchen counter and they kept their voices low in the dark.

“Yes. There’s a chance it will take longer because the ministry will want to deny it for a werewolf and it might not work at all. I’ll work odd jobs in the wizarding world for money.” _But I want a settled life, a career. Something I enjoy._

The problem with working in the muggle world is that it’s hard to keep your world and theirs separate and it’s hard to keep the secret. For purebloods it’s nearly impossible. They have to be taught to use a telephone for starts. For muggleborns, it’s considerably more tolerable. It’s a hassle, but Remus can keep a secret. He’d rather be hiding the fact that he’s a wizard from muggles than hiding the fact that he’s a werewolf from wizards.

Sirius seemed like he wanted to continue hounding him but found that he couldn’t.

“Well, that’s good.” Sirius said. “Isn’t it?”

“It’s good.” Remus said, his body conveying fatigue.

“Then what’s been going on with you lately?” Sirius stared at him. He kept surprisingly good eye contact for someone with a history of abuse. Fight was technically his natural response method but still.

“I’ve been fine, it’s just a lot of work, applying to the ministry for the academic records and everything I’ll need for uni. It takes a lot of time and I’m also applying for other jobs and I’ve been busy.” Remus said all of this quite believably but Sirius was closer than a friend and even James could tell when Remus was lying at least half the time.

“You’ve been busy.” Sirius crossed his arms.

Remus exhaled roughly and rubbed his brow. “Sirius…”

Sirius looked angry and his jaw twinged.

“I want to move in together.”

Remus looked up at him with widened eyes.

“You want to what.” Remus blurted.

“I want to move in together.” Sirius restated.

“I…” Remus thought very loudly, _I can’t afford that._

Sirius stared at him waiting for a response.

“I haven’t thought about that yet.” He murmured with a shrug.

“Well, I’ve thought about it.” Sirius said with hardness in his even voice. “James is going to move in with Lily once their married. I’m going to get a place of my own and I do _not_ intend to live alone and I very much want to room with my boyfriend, you, and I want you to say yes and to… want to live with me. And while I’m doing all this you’re not speaking to me about your life. I don’t know _very_ much about good relationship practice but I think communication is one of the big ones.”

Remus stared at him silently. He couldn’t start. Wouldn’t start. Explaining what it’s like to be who he is at this point in his life. It was hard. And he had no interest in having a heart to heart with Sirius over this.

“And there’s even more where that came from!” Sirius stressed, waving his hands manically. “I want more than that, too. And I feel that if I tell you about it I’ll… I don’t want to…” He squeezed his hands in fists at his sides and looked away with his head held high. “Look, just please think as I do for once and agree with me. Move in with me for a month, give it a try and if you hate it all then leave.” He blurted it out and it was plain as day on his face as he said it that the thought of such a terrible thing made him feel vulnerable.

Remus could feel the tension in Sirius’ love. In his friendship. Not only with him but with Lily and James. There was a squeeze of the grip. It was as if he was never settled in love. He always pressed a little closer, seeking a little more warmth. His love would be over compensatory, did it not come so naturally to him.

“I… Pads, I…” Sirius gave him a horrible glare that somehow made Remus feel as if he were hurting him. “At least give me a moment.”

Sirius’ brow furrowed.

“Don’t give me that,” Remus said harshly, “Don’t act like you’re hurt. Now you’ve just sprung this on me and I’ve not even considered it, you can’t expect me to immediately say yes.”

Sirius collected his expression and nodded once. They were silent and Remus caught himself thinking of sex at a completely inappropriate time, secret kitchen quickies. It had been a while since he’d had the drive anyway – a bad sign if he’d ever ignored one – and he was glad he still had the thought.

He just felt so far away. His self-preservation instinct was strong, but he’d been having a go of it lately.

With a flare of light, James crouched and hobbled out of the floo, popping up and hiking up a comically overstuffed sack on his back.

“Boys!” He piped, “Where the hell have you been, you’re late!” He strode through the living room to the entrance of the kitchen. He slung a rough arm around Sirius’ shoulder and squeezed him with a kiss on the side of the head and stepped in to Remus’ open arm to give a hug.

James had a surplus of love that he sort of needed somewhere to put. With the wedding, which at this point was his sort of finally fulfilled dream, and Peter’s lack of engagement in his attempts to include him, he was giving out more and more hugs in the recent year than ever.

He pushed his glasses up his nose roughly. “We’ve got to get working or we’ll be caught with our pants down at the crack of dawn.” He grinned handsomely.

“Oh, James you mustn’t mention the word _crack_ in the same sentence as _pants down_ ,” Sirius drawled.

“Why not!” James smacked his chest with the back of his hand roughly and Sirius leaned back, smacking his outreached arm.

“Be _cause,_ it’s like saying crack twice!” He laughed, James said _alright alright_ and made to get back to business while Sirius wrapped around him in an attempt to annoy, cooing in his ear sweetly while James asked Remus if he had the ‘lip lock bags’.

“They’re zip lock bags, Prongs.” Remus hummed, hopping to and sliding open a drawer to get out a box of zip lock bags.

“These are waterproof?” James asked curiously reaching through Sirius’ hold to open the box in Remus’ hand a fondle them.

“Dick head, keep it down.” He sniped, putting the slippery bags back in the box once James had made a mess of them accidentally. “Yes, they’re like impervious, if the charm didn’t wear off.”

“That’s brilliant!” James whispered.

“Yes.” Remus replied and they shuffled out the back door.

“Where first,” Remus asked.

“Marlene’s?” Sirius hiked his well fitted jeans up.

“Marlene!” James cheered quietly and turned into space, followed with a snap by Remus and Sirius.

\--

“Not like that – _Don’t step on them!”_ James whisper yelled at Sirius who was clambering awkwardly through the sprawl of unwarrantedly colorful flowers which were blanketing the whole front garden of Professor McGonagall’s home. They’d been through this a few times so far, but James was perfectionistic as called for by the nature of this prank.

The flower carpet covered all that you could see of the front garden when the homeowner stepped out of the front door in the morning. No grass could be seen, only flowers that spelled out, with different colors of floral specimens, carefully, _YOU’RE INVITED_.

And of course, Remus would slip a formal wedding invitation into a plastic bag and place it on the front door with a sticking charm.

Sirius griped much too loudly from the garden, though he attempted to be quiet, and James looked on from outside the floral orchestra and directed Sirius to fix this or that, throwing a sweeping arm movement and a wave of the wand. Remus crossed his arms and squinted at the ensemble while Sirius tromped through with his _kicker_ boots which was half the problem right there.

He’d already cast silencio over the garden when they’d got here. But sometimes it’s easier to not complicate matters by communicating this to the boys.

He wondered if McGonagall would think that he’d come up with this idea. Surely not, he thought. This wreaked of James Potter. He shook his head slightly at his own thoughts with a discerning frown. No. She’d be sharing a theoretical look with Remus, in spirit. His work was much more subtle.

“Does that look like… is that right?” James asked him. Remus hummed from his gut and yes. “But does it look like it’s in _cursive?_ ”

“I’m sure it does.” He offered, “See… it’s slanty.”

“It’s not just the slant.” James said with a narrow-eyed look of disdain at him by his side. “It’s also the style.”

“Mm,” Remus nodded, “’Course. No, it’s got that.”

“Oh, Remus.” James shook his head and looked back at Sirius trying to arrange the flowers with his charm work, piping up with direction. Normally James would dig at him and make him talk. It’s just that this is the wedding prank and he can’t afford a diversion.

Remus thought about Sirius’ request.

He had two best friends. And they had set a precedent from about twelve years old of prying Remus even when he closed off.

Still, he felt himself drifting down and away.

He could maybe keep up the fighting spirit against the constant closing of the doors that line his path at the beginning of adulthood, however they closed on him because of what he was and somewhere in the back of his personality he also understood their reasoning.

So, he found himself refusing with every bit of the spit in his spirit to drag out some pathetic show and make Sirius his audience.

And the simple fact of it is he’d dreaded this part of his life for a few years. And it had turned out to be every bit as difficult as he’d imagined it would. And he was getting tired, at the moment. Very tired.

It’s hard to take someone’s love in the state he’s in.

He just needed to time to lick his fucking wounds for a few years and keep his head down and get through this particular part of being a lycanthrope and Sirius was making it difficult to feel horribly isolated, and horribly unloved, and horribly unlovable. He was making it terrifically difficult to feel guilty.

And it’s like it always is. He’ll get yanked back into the holy fold by Sirius or James, and he’ll forget. And then it will come back around. Some part of the whole, big, bloody horror of it.

Sirius leaned over with his hands on his knees and blew out a laborious breath by their side.

“Is it elegant?” James asked. Sirius stood and considered.

“I think it’s elegant. It’s definitely cursive and it’s definitely pretty.” He offered.

“But, let’s not forget, this is McGillie. Is it good enough?” He asked, both hands on his hips. “Is it McGonagall Elegant.”

“Yes.” Remus growled, “Fuck’s sake.”

“Good.” James relented with a grin, “Now to Andromeda.” And he disappeared. Sirius glared at him narrowly.

“You cunt old fuck,” he waves a hand, “Why does he listen to you and not me, hm?”

Remus smacked his ass and apparated. Sirius of course knew James had already settled before Remus had assented but it was worth the fondle.

\--

“I already sent Andy an owl about the business.” Sirius noted, charming the flowers to be the color James wanted. (Gryffindor colors as if proudly commenting on Sirius’ turn out). “She said she’d be pleased to attend.”

“ _She said she’d be delighted to attend, milord.”_ Remus murmured under his breath in a good imitation of the accent. Sirius flicked a hex at his crotch which Remus swatted away between wand movements.

“That’s good.” James smiled, “This will be my invitation.”

“You didn’t invite Lil’s family to the wedding like this.” Sirius said.

“Well, I left that one up to her.” James said calling quits and swinging his wand at his shoe and vanishing dirt. He strolled in a loose loop in the garden. “I want to make a fantastic impression for extended family. Besides I don’t want her to be invited to my wedding via secondhand account from you. She needs to feel personally addressed.”

“I think you’ve beat the piss out of that one, then, Prongs.” Remus grunted, looking dryly up at Andromeda and Ted’s home reflecting the moon’s light. He took out a cigarette and took a relaxing drag.

“Good.” He clapped his hands, handsome arms framed by white tee, and winced at the sound.

“Silencio.” Remus gave a half grin of amusement and leaned back against a fence post at the gate that led to the Tonks’ garden.

“Don’t think it matters.” Sirius murmured, “I think she probably knows we’re here.”

“No!” James threw his head back in despair with a smile, a hand in his pocket. He looked wonderfully boyish and handsome. Quidditch and a preference for healthy feeding did favors for his frame. The half empty sack of flowers on the ground beside them.

“Ah, she’ll have gone back to bed. She can’t see the flowers anyway, don’t strop.” Sirius crooned paternally. He reached a hand out to Remus in request and Remus placed the cigarette in his fingers gingerly, with plenty of pleasure in the brush of their hands. Sirius hummed with sweet thanks as he did when he had a chance to get Remus’ attention and approval if even in the giving of a smoke.

He was a bit of a dog, and he liked to make Remus his man.

They chatted quietly in the moonlight for a bit.

“I owled Peter about the wedding.” James said and looked a bit saddened. Sirius’ eyes chilled a bit and he quirked a subtle frown. A quiet stretched. “He hasn’t answered. I think he’s not coming.”

Another long quiet stretched, and Remus gave him a break and spoke up, “If he wants to come he’ll come. You shouldn’t do any more asking.”

“He doesn’t want to come.” Sirius shrugged with a vindictively careless gaze.

“Why not?” James asked earnestly, looking at Sirius.

“Because he only ever wanted friends, he didn’t want us _specifically._ I’m sure he had fun. However, he was intimidated by us and the pranks often made him feel stressed and nervous as well. So now he’s found more fitting friends and a partner, he’s not interested anymore.”

Remus raised his brows at the ground and blinked stutteringly at the grass, rubbing his chin with the back of his hand still holding the cigarette. He took a drag, brows still raised a bit and eyes wider, keeping his gaze down. On blowing out he looked up to James.

“You think so.” James asked. His expression was sort of steeled but wounded. Sirius’ expression had softened into a more gentle neutral for him.

“Yes… as a matter of fact.” Sirius murmured quietly, leaned back against the gate post across from James. “It’s alright, James. If he’s fine and you’re fine, then it’s alright. Isn’t it?”

“Well… sure.” James allowed. “Except he was our close friend. He was a marauder.”

They all allowed a moment of silence for their naïve childhood name. To allow it the significance James was retaining for it.

“He was like…” Sirius sighed, “He’s like the lower income families we would mingle with at charity events. He wouldn’t speak up for himself and you could walk all over him and he never really saw you as a person past what you had that he didn’t, Peter just wanted friends… Like we all do. But he wasn’t like us. Now he’s ready to move on.”

James exhaled through his nose and lowered his head to look at the grass, shaking his head shallowly. Sirius reached his hand out for a drag of the disappearing cigarette. Remus held it out to his side, giving Sirius a flat look.

“Oh dear.” Sirius sighed, dropping his hand.

“That was awful.” Remus grumbled, “You can have it when Prongs wants you to.”

James gave Remus a pitiful smile and huffed a laugh.

“I’d like it if you’d not say anything so heartless about a friend ever again.” James asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Fine… darling.” He grumbled. “In my defense, Remus is just as awful an old bitch as any. At least I’m public about my cruelty, he, he’s only a cunt to us! Everyone else thinks he’s the _good_ one!” James had a laugh at this and kicked a shoe out at him which Remus half heartedly leaned away from.

“You are such a dear, Moony.” James grinned, “Even when I _know_ what you’re thinking, I swear I can read your fucking mind sometimes. It’s very funny.”

“I’m not an asshole.” He protested mildly.

“No, mon Coeur,” Sirius crooned, turning his body to him and rubbing his ankle against his calf. “You’re just a bitter old gothic-romantic literature character, cursed with a fatal – terminal – curse. Bound to be forever burdened by your darkness… And you have a very natural façade of palatability you give to the people, thoughtlessly even, because no one likes their marginalized communities angry and you have an _immense_ self-preservation knack. Only you don’t have to worry about these things with your brothers and we get to see your true, sour self.”

Remus’ cigarette was smoking in his fingers as he stared at Sirius through this little speech. He hexed his mouth shut with a click and Sirius huffed nonverbally in protest.

“That’s absolutely enough of that, for one night, thank you.” Remus muttered with plenty of irritation in his gut. He flicked his cigarette to the ground and stepped it out.

“ _Merlin_ , Pads, _do_ shut up.” James griped, smacking him lightly on the side of the head. Sirius threw his hands up and flopped them against his thighs. James tucked him under his arm and smiled at him warmly and laughingly. “Fucking thick head.”

“Let’s get on.” Remus prompted and James and Sirius got a move on as they picked up the sack of flowers and winked in a moment out of sight.

\--

“Do you get the impression that Dumbledore critiques our pranks.” James grumbles. “I always get the feeling I’m being fucking evaluated when he checks out our handiwork.” He was knelt in the flowers, standing and swiping his hands clean.

Sirius tilted his head from side to side, giving a sort of _yeah probably_ expression. Remus gave a happy smirk at him. Sirius caught this and jerked his head in a challenging nod and lifted his brow. He leaned in with a glimmer in his eye and kissed his face with his locked jaw, nuzzling and kissing down his neck and up to breath in his ear. Remus put a slowing hand on his chest and flicked a wand his way to remove the charm.

Sirius opened his lovely mouth in a sigh, still breathing close against the side of his face. “Thank you, Moony, love.”

“You two had better not cool those jets at my wedding. I want my best man to have a best man.” He smirked jauntily. Remus winced audibly; he’d never be able to keep his decency with Sirius getting fuel like that for his fire.

“I’m trying to get him to move in with me.” Sirius told him plaintively as if James could talk him into it.

“You’re moving in together?” James asked.

“No, we’re not – no, I’m not doing this tonight.” Remus told Sirius and then turned away to move on. He could feel James and Sirius exchanging a look.

“I can’t live alone.” Sirius said quietly with an air of jest which fell awfully flat into transparency. “Moony and I would be wonderful in a flat together, I know it.”

James hummed with considering and gave Sirius a sympathizing frown. Remus rolled his eyes so hard at them both it hurt. He could _hear_ the domesticity in his voice. God, Sirius wanted shoes piled next to each other at the door and Kate Bush and Queen and Judee Sill records, and Billie Holiday and Vera Lynn in a crate together. He wants to have a Christmas tree in their flat with a present from Sirius to Hope Lupin.

And Remus wants it too and he wants to _see_ himself there, without a burden dragging behind him. He wants to see himself being productive and admirable, so Sirius could have some practical reason to say he loves him.

Although being a queer sort of renders the whole point moot anyway. But at least between them…

“Sirius if there’s anyone you want me to invite, by the way, just let me know.” James offered. This is another of those very personal talks that James doesn’t mind having with Sirius right in front of him.

Regulus.

“There’s no one.” Sirius says. “Now’s not the time. And your _wedding_ is certainly not the time.”

“If you say so.” James sighs at their work. “Only established outcast Blacks allowed then.”

Sirius barked a laugh and they get on with the last house of the night. _Good work boys,_ with many pats on the back and goodbyes.

“Lily and I are having breakfast before she’s off to work.” James smiles widely. The sun would be rising soon, though the darkness still lay.

“Oh, tell her I said I’ve read her book and I’ve made notes. It’s slow going but when I get going I get a lot done.” Sirius says. James nods and hums _okay, got it._

“Tell her I want to have coffee soon.” Remus rasps and leans for their sort of hug. A hand on the back of the neck and a quick press together. “Stay out of trouble.”

“Stay _in_ trouble, I heard that the other day!” James chirps, “I quite liked that!” He laughs and waves with a twist into nothing.

Remus looked at Sirius and they were quiet for a moment.

“What are you off to, then?” Remus asked in vain. Sirius gave a contemplative furrow of the brow. He took his hand in his own.

“Come with me for a moment.” He asked and Remus didn’t say no fast enough because Sirius twisted them through space and Remus was in a flat. Everything was fine and immaculate, if slightly cluttered with a lived-in quality. Remus followed Sirius through the fairly small flat to a study. _Good lord, a study._ Remus noted the carved wooden chairs and thick ancient rugs and paintings on the walls. Books everywhere. Sirius paused them at the window where the darkness of the city glowed and the moon was no where to be seen.

“Is this your Uncle’s.” Remus asked. Sirius lifted his chin with a soft exhale. He looked every bit the part of the person who could belong here. He gazed out the window.

“Was. His home for years.” Sirius murmured. He turned to Remus before the pause could change into anything else.

“Listen, Moony.” Sirius breathed softly. “I don’t know how best to speak my mind to you. And I know how you hate to have conversations like these.” His gazed flicked to the floor with a pucker of his lip. “I want a life with you. I think you know that.”

He lifted his eyes to meet his gaze with all the unwavering steadiness he ever had. “I want to be married, Remus. I want everything James gets to have.” Remus’ insides chilled. “Maybe not now. But I imagine us sharing _rings._ ” Sirius laughed incredulously. “I know we can’t be fucking married, I know, but I want a home and some damned rings, and I want to stop having to go home after we fuck I just want to be there.”

They were quiet.

“We’re young. I’m not asking for any of this now. I understand… I’m just telling you, honestly. So you know.” Sirius said. “Alphard left me this flat. I think it’s too much… not my taste. I’d like to maybe rent it out and get a smaller place. And I’m just telling you that I don’t imagine being there by my fucking self.”

Remus exhaled and ducked his head, shuffling about.

“Sirius I can’t afford… rent. Right now.” Remus said. Sirius worked his jaw at the words, a supplicant look in his eye.

“I know,” He said, “But you can take care of whatever you can and I’ll take care of what I can… You can pay me in blowjobs.”

Remus closed his eyes and his shoulders slumped at this. “You… cock.”

He felt hands on his shoulders, opened his eyes to see a smile.

“Why don’t you think about it and I’ll give it… _some_ time – if I must – and in the meantime you take me back to your room… We can sleep in for the morning, it’s Saturday.”

How could Remus feel so distant with those gorgeous eyes blinking down at him.

“Might have to fuck, first.” Remus muttered.

“Oh, I hope so.” He sighed with a grin. When they did snap back to the back door of the Lupin home, the one that leads into the kitchen, Remus saw the cellar some yards from the back door. No light had yet come on the night. Just the subtle and barely noticeable lifting of the dark. The wooden double doors that closed down on the stairs were shut. The wood looked so frail and rotting, belying its magical enhancements.

That’s where he’d be in a few days’ time.

He followed Sirius into the house and ignored everything for tonight, in favor of a hand full of dark hair.


End file.
